|Ohh! Right there!!! Right fucking there!!!!!!
||[Oct. 24th, 2006|09:26 am]
The Grouchy Daily Horoscope
Aries (March 21-April 19)|
Overthinking things is something you are often surprisingly good at. Take it to the next level. Vocalize what you are overthinking to the extent that the person you are talking to suffers a migrane or, better yet, a stroke.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
The best way to make someone dance is by shooting at their feet.
Gemini (May 21-June 21)
Role playing is one of your specialties. Unfortunately, you are so schitzo, you might find yourself in the bedroom dressed like a Paladin and telling your lover you are Batman.
Cancer (June 22-July 22)
You self esteem is growing. Your confidence is on the rise. Celebrate with nasty arrogance!
Leo (July 23-August 22)
Can YOU keep a secret? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Don't let that supposed flaw keep you from doing your thing. What exactly is that thing? I have no idea.
Virgo (August 23-September 22)
Your pride is standing between your ego and your aloof, abstract mind. Maybe I meant to say that you are proud to have an egotistical, aloof mind. Whatever.
Libra (September 23-October 22)
You have a tough time letting go unless letting go means that the person you are letting go will fall to their death if you do it. So just let go and giggle as you hear them scream while falling to their death. Tune out the ugly splat noise.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Treat yourself to a surprise. Find someone who is ugly and con them into thinking you are attracted to them.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
Dialog is the key to a successful friendship. Who needs friends or dialog? Say something rude and they will all go away.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
Caught with your pants down again? No worries. No one was looking at you anyway.
Aquarius (January 20-February 18)
It's tough connecting with people. It's even tougher for you to want to connect to people unless we're talking about connecting with a left hook.
Pisces (February 19-March 20)
Let go of the grudge and just go for pure revenge. When the dust settles, kick them while they're down just for good measure.